Do you see freedom and discipline as opposites, or do you see discipline as the means to achieve freedom? Mmm, take a moment to ponder that one - changing your perspective on it could make a profound difference in your life. As I've said before in this column, freedom is my highest value - but how do you achieve freedom? Note that there are two sorts of freedom - inner and outer. You may have achieved financial independence and be able to do whatever you want in the world but if your mind doesn't stop whirring and the emotions you feel are not joy, love, peace and happiness then there's no real freedom in it.
Freedom sounds exciting and conjures up visions of limitless possibilities, open options and spontaneous actions. Discipline, by contrast, reeks of the boredom of repetitive or routine tasks, limiting our options and forcing ourselves to do things we don't want to do.
However, on closer examination it becomes clear that in fact it's discipline that brings us freedom. The discipline of quieting the mind whether by meditation, EFT or other insight work brings a sense of peace and inner freedom. Other outer freedoms such as a healthy, fit body, financial independence, the ability to travel, being an expert in your field,all demand discipline and commitment. Discipline is an essential component in the achievement of any goal and as such can be seen to give us freedom, not take it away.
Seen in this light discipline and commitment can be seen as major aids to achieving what we most want. In 2000 when I was in England before the Sydney Olympics I was captivated by a documentary on Steven Regrave and his fellow rowers in the fours. They went on to win gold in Sydney - making it Steven's fifth gold medal. Behind all the glory was a story of intense discipline, focus and commitment.
If you want to achieve greater freedom then have a goal that excites you, inspires you and instills a sense of purpose. That way you'll be motivated to have the discipline to get you through all the nitty gritty, boring, routine tasks that need to be accomplished so that you can experience the joy and freedom that you desire.
In one of my prosperity workshops a definite theme emerged – participants felt they were unable to ‘shine’. They had many skills and talents yet were not fully utilizing them. I also think many people have a lot of talent sitting there that they aren’t even aware of. I remember hearing the story many years ago that Grinder (one of the founders of NLP) when asked at a party if he could play the piano replied “I don’t know”. He had never been taught but remained open to the possibility that he could.
What talents do you have that you are not allowing yourself to shine at and what talents do you possess that you haven’t yet discovered? We don’t allow ourselves to shine for various reasons. Perhaps you were told as a child to not be conceited or too big for your boots – I was told ‘don’t blow your own trumpet’. Perhaps you got the idea that you weren’t good enough – our deepest fear is always that we don’t measure up in some way – and so you’re afraid of being judged or criticized.
If you examine the situation closely you will probably find that it is you who are doing the judging and being critical of yourself! I lost a lot of my fear when I recognized that I was my own worst critic – and have been able to let my talents shine much more freely since getting off my own back. For instance, I’ve always been able to write, but it took me several decades to really put it into practice – happily I’m now on the third year of this newsletter and will shortly finish my second book. What talent do you have sitting there untapped? What beliefs do you need to let go of so you can shine? What conditioning governs your actions and stops you from fulfilling your dreams? In what way do you hold yourself back? Sit quietly with these questions and let the answers and insights arise.
As well as allowing yourself to shine with your current skills it’s great fun to go exploring to discover what you might be good at, or even what you might enjoy doing. I’ve done all sorts of things from drumming to assailing, belly dancing to calligraphy, cooking to horse riding. I discovered I didn't have any talent at belly dancing but enjoyed it hugely while caving was crossed very firmly off my list after the first excursion! But you never know until you try. Have some fun by trying something you’ve never done before - you may uncover a hidden talent. Take classes in something new or add to skills you already have and enjoy letting yourself SHINE.
In answering that question you may discover either that you feel generally in a rut or, like I did, that there is one particular area where you are stuck. It could be anything. I’m inclined to think my daughter is stuck in a rut of hurricanes!! Last month you heard how she’d escaped Hurricane Rita. Well, she’s been to Africa, climbed Mt Kilimanjaro successfully but is now in Miami, post Wilma, uncontactable, in a boarded up hotel. I do know she had a torch and some wine!
Sometimes you know you’re in a rut. I knew I wasn’t going to the gym, I knew I wasn’t walking enough and though eating what some people would think a good diet I knew I was eating things that didn’t suit me. So why didn’t I get out of it? What does make us get out of a rut? For the most part it’s when the rut becomes more painful than stepping out of it. The tightening waistband didn’t quite do it for me but I got up one morning and my body felt old. I’ve never felt old ever, so that was enough of a shock to make me take action instead of continuing on in my comfort zone.
I was bored with the classes at the gym but instead of going to find another gym I just didn’t go. My personal trainer had moved on but I hadn’t looked for another one to help keep me in line. Sometimes we just take the easy road but ultimately it’s dissatisfying and keeps us from the enthusiasm of experiencing new things. When I did decide to try a new gym the first class I did was brilliant, and I’ve now got a new personal trainer and marched to the supermarket, grasping a new shopping list.
On the other hand you may not know you’re in a rut – you may just have vague feelings of discontent, frustration or anxiety. If so, it’s time to run a check on the different areas of your life – work/ career, family, mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health, contribution – and see where the dissatisfaction lies. Then it’s time to decide – are you going to take action – because action is the only cure. What is one small action you could complete today that would start to move you out of a rut? Let’s all get out of our ruts!
Imagine a class of 20 beginner drummers! Actually it’s not as bad as it sounds because we’re starting with simple rhythms and have a great teacher who helps us keep to time. It’s fascinating to feel the flow when everyone is drumming exactly on time and then the discomfort when people get out of kilter. The same happens with my own drumming – I notice how great it feels when the beat flows easily and my hands are in sync and then how uncomfortable it is when I lose the beat and my hands don’t seem able to get it back together again.
Our lives are like that too – we feel great when we’re in the flow, and uncomfortable, even greatly distressed when we fall out of rhythm. We can get out of rhythm in both major and minor ways. Accidents, major illness, the death of a loved one, divorce or a major trauma of any kind interrupt the flow of our lives and cause us to readjust and take stock. It’s also very easy, with the busy lives we lead, to get out of step on a daily basis – missing meals, eating at odd times on the run, or alternatively overeating and drinking, going to bed too late, sleeping fitfully, not exercising our body which was designed for movement rather than sitting in front of computers.
We lose touch with the rhythms of nature – when I lived in the wilderness I realised how out of touch I was with the cycles of the moon and the darkness of a moonless night, because as a city dweller I seldom noticed the moon and never experienced total darkness. We have even lost our feel for seasonal foods now that we eat food flown in from around the world. We have a tendency to fight other rhythms that exist in our world such as the seasons or the financial markets. We know bears hibernate and petunias don’t flower in winter but when our metaphorical winter is upon us we are unwilling to rest, be still, earn less money or be sick. We should note that those who fight against the ebb and flow of the financial markets get burned while those who use the ebb and flow get rich.
My teacher says that in order to drum fast you have to be totally relaxed. It is unrealistic then to expect our life to flow when we’re in a state of stress and out of balance. So check out what you need to do to step back into the rhythm and feel how good it is when life just flows. If you need any help with this give me a call on 61(2)9713 1956.
We always want something - a better job, more loving relationships, increased fitness, higher sales, more money, a new car – and are often frustrated when it doesn’t show up despite our best efforts. Has it occurred to you that you might be resisting receiving what you desire – blocking the very thing that you want? Let’s look at how that might be happening.
There are laws that govern the nature of our universe, commonly known as Universal Laws. We are all familiar with the Law of Gravity which is about physical matter being bound to the magnetic field of the earth and we’ve all seen astronauts floating round in the air when they are in an environment which is outside the dictates of this law. Another law, the Law of Attraction defines how energy fields of a similar vibration will be drawn or magnetized together. Our world is one of vibrating energy and the speed of the movement determines whether something will be visible (like a table – slowing moving) or not visible (like sound, x-rays – fast moving).
What a lot of people don’t understand is that every thought, feeling, word and action that we have or do carries a vibration which attracts other like vibrations. We are totally unaware that our way of thinking and feeling is actually blocking what we so want. For instance, how many times a day do you find yourself feeling frustrated, stressed, angry, critical, guilty, not good enough, – or any other number of negative feelings. If your thoughts or feelings are fearful, negative or limited you might notice your body being tight and constricted. Wealth, prosperity, abundance and love are expansive qualities and you can’t feel both constricted and expansive at the same time.
It also stands to reason that if you think about what you don’t have, you then get more of what you don’t have, regardless of how much you want something different. So it’s time to start monitoring your thoughts and feelings to see what you are focusing on and what your predominant daily feelings are. Change them to abundant, grateful and loving and that’s what you will attract to yourself.
I recently spent a weekend with some friends in the Blue Mountains - a beautiful wilderness area west of Sydney.We were blessed with gorgeous weather and went out walking – exploring cascading waterfalls, exquisite rainforest, awe inspiring views and enjoying colourful sunsets. It was easy to feel joyful in these surroundings and it reminded me of what I love to do and what re-energises me. I say ‘reminded’ because I think it’s so easy to become engaged in our daily lives, quite forget about the things we love to do and then wonder why we don’t feel very happy.
A great exercise is to make a list of all the things that you enjoy doing – at least 10. Think of the little things as well as the big ones – reading a page-turning novel, laying on the sofa listening to your favourite CD, playing with the kids, jogging on the beach, dancing, relaxing in a candlelit bubble bath, playing a musical instrument, having friends over for dinner, riding a bike, playing soccer, going to the theatre/concert/art gallery. You can of course include work activities that you enjoy. Then put a tick next to each one that you have done in the last two weeks – you might be disconcerted to discover you only have a couple of ticks.
Also take a look back and see what you used to enjoy doing that might have got lost in the busyness. Maybe you played sport when you were younger or had some hobby that you really enjoyed.
Of course the important next step is to create a plan of action. How can you get as many things as possible that you love to do into your schedule? Sometimes it’s as simple as becoming aware that they have been missing, but often that ogre called ‘time’ gets in the way. You can look at it different ways – first of all spending time can save time - I noticed how much more productive I was after my weekend. Secondly, my understanding is that all we really want is to be happy so what is more important than spending time doing what makes you happy.
How much enjoyment could you add to your life?